Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize