So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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