just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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