He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
