You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
