You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize