Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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