hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Im part way to drunk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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