I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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