none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
