that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
zippers are such a cool invention
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
