the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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