So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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