I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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