I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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