I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
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she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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