I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
