She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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