Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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