She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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