his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
