is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
