You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
