D3 body, D1 cock
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize