thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
