Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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