I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
