yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
