Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
