Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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