Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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