theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
