One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
