Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
