They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
