Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
