Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
