Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
