Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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