Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
