Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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