somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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