Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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