Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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