I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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