i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
