Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
