im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
