Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
