I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
