you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
