For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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