Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
