hotel room ftw
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
