you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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