lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina