yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I spit up blood this morning
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change