I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.