bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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