When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
