she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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