No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
