Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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