I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ladies don't puke and tell
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
