i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
