Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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