Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
